“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it” -Ann Landers
Marriage is one of life’s central relationships and, for many people, seeking a divorce feels like a tremendous failure. It is tough to initiate something you know will have great emotional, practical and financial implications for yourself and your children. For anyone going through a painful and challenging divorce the first and most important recommendation is to find some kind of spiritual and emotional support.
Going through a divorce can be very difficult not just for the spouses involved but it effects the entire family. It can turn your world upside down and make it difficult to get through the work day and stay productive. There are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.
- Recognize that it is okay to have different feelings: Its normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused. Accept that these reactions will lessen over time.
- It is important to take care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally: It is vital that you take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Do not resort to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes as a mechanism of coping with the stress.
- Explore your interests: Reconnect with things you enjoy doing apart from your spouse. Join the gym, take up a cooking class or a dance glass which you always wanted to join. Volunteer and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.
- Avoid arguments with your spouse: If an argument does take place calmly tell your spouse that we can discuss this at a later time and walk away.
5. Leave your children out of it: Ensure your children that the divorce is not their fault. Try to keep their daily and weekly routines as stable as possible. Let them know that you are still there for them no matter what.
6. You are not alone: In the worst of times, remember you are not alone. Share your feelings with friends and family or even join a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Do not feel as if you are alone as this can result in increase stress levels which will in turn get in the way of your work relationships and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.
7. Take as much time to yourself as you require: Give yourself a break and take as much time as you need to heal from the heartache and change. Heal, regroup, and re-energize.
8. Life will get back to normal and you will be happy again: Once you have dealt with and overcome the heartache and accepted the situation you will start to feel normal again. You will be happy again!
“Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it.” – JK Rowling